working mom?

So I dropped off a resume at a nearby hospital just to see if anything was out there and I ended up having an interview right then and there. They offered me a job 3 days a week, and I think I am going to take it. :) I feel really excited about it and I think it will be good for the kids to get out and be around other kids more too. I am happy because then I will be able to see them lots still, but get out around other adults too. I think it will be nice! We are going to look at a daycare tonight when Jeremy gets home from work, so hopefully that will go well. I still have to get a special license to practice radiology in Florida, so I think that should take 2 more weeks or so. I will keep you all posted on how it goes! :)

Tag!

My friend Liz "tagged" me!

ACCENT: Well, for some reason many people have told me I sound like a Canadian...I'm not sure if that is a compliment or not...
BIBLE BOOK I LIKE: I guess this changes a lot...I think I really like Revelation, it challenges me.
CHORE I DON'T CARE FOR: All of them! I really hate laundry...it just NEVER ENDS!!!
DOG OR CAT: I like cats, but Jeremy is allergic to them. I really like reptiles more though.
ESSENTIAL ELECTRONICS: I am thankful for our computer so I can keep in touch with far away friends and family. :)
FAVORITE COLOGNE: I don't know! I never bring myself to buy any because it's expensive and I don't really need it.
GOLD OR SILVER: I like them both. :)
HANDBAG I CARRY MOST OFTEN: My purse made from persecuted christians in Bangladesh (www.christianfreedom.org)
INSOMNIA: not at all :)
JOB TITLE: "Mommy", and when working outside the home: Vascular Interventional Technologist, and Computed Tomography Technologist. Cool huh?
KIDS: My sweet daughter Lana (2 1/2) and my handsome little boy David (1)
LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: Our new beautiful house in Florida :)
MOST ADMIRABLE TRAIT: a positive attitude
NAUGHTIEST CHILDHOOD BEHAVIOR: I don't know...being stubborn? I'll have to ask my parents about this one!
OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAYS: 2, one for each kid, oh-and I think maybe when I was younger and had pneumonia.
PHOBIAS: Being a widow
QUOTE: "poop when you have to"
RELIGION: Christian
SIBLINGS: 2 wonderful big brothers! :)
TIME I WAKE UP: 7:00 every morning
UNUSUAL TALENT OR SKILL: Doing different crafts :)
VEGETABLE I REFUSE TO EAT: Most of them! :) Actually I am improving, but I still refuse to eat squash or beets.
WORST HABIT: Saying "I'm sorry" all the time...I try to stop, but it still slips out! :)
X-RAYS: Chest x-rays, and I had my friend x-ray my foot when I was in school...pretty much because we were bored.
YUMMY STUFF I COOK: I have actually gotten some really good recipes and enjoyed cooking more lately! I made enchilladas that tasted great and different chicken and pork chop dishes. And of course, my mom's recipe for homemade apple pie!
ZOO ANIMAL I LIKE MOST: Either the penguins or monkeys.


Megan, you're it!

Hey Liz...you should do the list of 100 things about you!

being here

Last night I watched a wonderful movie that mom and dad got for my birthday. I don't know if everyone has already seen it- Last Holiday, starring Queen Latifah- I loved it! It really made me think about my life and how I spend the time that I have. It also immediately made me think of a sermon by Rob Bell where he talked about being "fully present". I think often we are all a bit sidetracked and distracted. We think about what we have or haven't done and about what we should and shouldn't do...we are often so busy looking at stuff in front or behind of us that we never pay attention to now. We never just be. I want to soak in every moment and enjoy being here. I want to appreciate all of the time that God has given me. I want to enjoy just playing with my kids and to pay attention to all of the ways that God declares his love for me (for all of us).
I love where we live because at night you can see so many stars, it is incredible! I love the nature and the weather. I love my wonderful family and all of you reading this! -If you haven't watched that movie, I highly recommend it, it made me feel so good! (And for all of you that want a little inspiration, I have a great idea for you! Log on to the Mars Hill website www.mhbcmi.org and download the sermon from May 14, 2006! We still listen every week, and that week just blew me away and makes me want to make the world a better place! So click on the listen button and then click on mp3...you'll be glad you did! It will make you want to change the world!)

So anyway, I guess this was all just a great reminder for me to live each day to the fullest. :)

Oh, also, I think David is feeling better. He ate a little breakfast and lunch without incident so that is good! He has been sleeping a lot but his fever is gone. YEA! Hopefully he will be back to his hungry self again soon.

David's rotten first birthday

So today is David's first birthday and he is sick. :( He has had disgusting things coming out of him all day today and has a little fever. I feel so bad for him! He can't keep any food down, but hopefully after a good nights sleep (and most of the day too) he will feel better tomorrow. When he was awake he surprised me by being pretty happy! He played for a while and then would whine when he was tired again. But he has been doing something that I think is so cute, even though I know I need to teach him not to... he drops things (especially his food) on the floor and says "uh-oh!" He even claps his hands sometimes! Oh, I love him! Lana and I had a lot of time to play today since he was sleeping so much so here are pics from today:

Lana and I were pretending to sleep, and she thought it was so funny that she would keep opening up her eyes! What a cutie!
This might require a bit of an explanation...the people who sold us this house didn't water the grass for several weeks and so the grass all died...so they had to pay to get the whole thing redone. They are supposed to lay the sod tomorrow. Anyway, they left their bobcat in our backyard all day Thursday and Friday so Lana played in the sand *oh, excuse me, the "beach"* while David had his nap. (I am afraid he would eat the sand instead of play in it) She had fun making sandcastles and poking her finger in the side and making windows.
Happy 1st Birthday David!!! He loves his firetruck toy from papa and gamma and was making the truck noises and everything! He had a pretty crappy day I'm afraid, but at least he played a little bit. My poor little punkin! (Oh, that furniture in the background was from our neighbors. I am thinking of reupholstering it.)
Daddy giving David his birthday hugs before he heads to work. (He decided he needed a change and had me cut his hair off. It definitely had to all be one length because as we all know, I am no beautician!) David always gets so excited when he sees his daddy! I think those are the moments when he crawls the fastest!

It's about time...

I have been writing this blog for nearly a year now and I admit I mostly write about the family. I want everyone at home to feel like they can still watch the kids grow up, but I rarely write about me and how I feel. Well, I guess it is about time to let you all know. :)

Honestly it has been pretty tough for me lately. Surprisingly, not because we moved again...I love our house and everyone here we have met so far. We found a church that I am optimistic about and I joined a mommy's group and just today found a scrapbooking store that hosts "crop sessions" every other Friday. I have talked to our friends that we made in Ocala and I think we will keep in touch with them too. No, it has mostly been difficult for me at home. I want so much to be a good mom. I want to give them the best possible start in life and I want them to know they are loved and that God holds everything together. But a lot of the time I feel like I need to get out.... somewhere without the kids. I sure haven't been away from David much in his life. It's funny how going to the grocery store alone is a wonderful getaway when I used to think of it as a pain. The more I think about it the more I want to work again. This makes me worry about a lot of things though. Does that make me a worse mom? Are the best moms the ones who never put their kids into daycare? I love them both so much and I know I would miss them, so is it wrong that I miss work? I loved my job. Sometimes I would grumble about having to go in, but once I was there, I felt like God used me. I know I made a difference with patients I met and I loved my coworkers and did my job well. I have struggled with this a lot this past year. Working inside the home instead of at the hospital makes it a lot more difficult to see how God is using me. I know with kids it is the accumulation of many years, and God works in the little ways...it just doesn't seem like I am doing anything sometimes. I think I notice all of the times when I could have done (fill in the blank) better. (for example potty training!) I don't think I am a bad mom, I just worry that I have made too many mistakes already. Parenting is so hard sometimes! So I guess this is my struggle lately...should I stay home or work? I think a part of me thinks I should stay home...if I really loved my kids. That it is selfish if I want to work. And then the other part of me knows I need adult time and I am good at what I do in the hospital and if I miss it, maybe that is where I should be. Honestly I think daycare would be good for Lana, but I worry about David.

It seems like lately I am sad a lot. Staying home is much harder work that anything I have done before. It is more stressful than any interventional or OR case I have scrubbed in on. I guess that is it...I feel stressed lately, very stressed. Lana is definitely 2 and testing the boundaries. She is a little sweetie, but she also makes me crazy sometimes. David isn't to that point (yet!) but he can be really clingy! It is tough to have only a few precious hours of alone time a day and then just wake up to another day with many challenges!

I also think that I am carrying around guilt for leaving everyone in Michigan. I feel horrible for taking the kids away from their grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins and our friends. I don't feel this way because of what anyone says, I just know that it makes them sad that we are apart. (it makes me sad too) I worry about what everyone thinks about us and the decisions we have made. So when I get overwhelmed I eat ice cream to cheer myself up :) (not much has changed has it Andy and Josh?) I go out to our back porch and look at the trees and plants and enjoy the sunshine and warm breeze and blue skies and appreciate all that God has given me. I probably cry more than I used to, but I feel like I have more of a relationship with God than I have ever had before. Hopefully I will follow where he is leading me and then have peace about it...

Let's Party!

Wow!!! David will be one year old on the 20th already! I can't believe it! We celebrated his birthday with one of our friends down here and her kids this past weekend and had a really nice time together. (Her husband couldn't come unfortunately...Jeremy was bummed!) The kids all play pretty well together and they all liked the cake and ice cream! David certainly is not as timid as Lana was on her first birthday! He grabbed for the cake right away and grunted, it was funny to watch! We are going out to dinner tonight for my 28th (I'm old huh?) and then we will open his presents probably this weekend, in between Jeremy's working and sleeping. It was kind of sad for me to not have everyone from Michigan there for David's birthday party... we miss you so much! We are sending you our love!
David's cleaning up his plate...I am so proud!
I had to get the cake the last minute because we still weren't sure how many people were coming, but the lady in the bakery was nice and put little turtles on it to make it cuter. :) (Sorry about the flowers David!)
David would stare at all of the other kids around the table in between bites, I think he liked the company!
Here are their playmates! :) From left to right: David, Lana, Noah (4), Aidan (6 months, I think), Emma (2). We met them and their parents (Davey and Stephanie) at the apartments and feel very blessed to be their friends!
I had to throw this picture in too...That's my girl!!!

All Moved In!

Dr. Lana is listening to her barbie's heart beats and telling them to take "deep bwefs"! She is so much fun!!!
This is David's favorite toy!!! Lana was helping David walk and they were both cracking up!
Our happy girl in her new house!
David took 4 steps after I took this picture! I am so proud of him!!!
Look at our happy boy!!! Check out his 6 teeth! (4 on top and 2 on the bottom)


Well, we are in our new house, and boy does it feel good! We really love having the extra space and we have very nice neighbors! It will probably take a while to get everything where we want it, but it is starting to feel more like home. It is great to have a playroom for the kids now...they can run around the kitchen and living room and their playroom in a big circle, so that is good!
They love chasing each other and laughing. David has been taking some steps, but he crawls so fast that I think he finds it is easier to stick with that instead of learn to walk! They have fun together most of the time :) We can't wait for all of you to come see our new place! We love ya!